HOME SWEET HOME ) and sometimes is can be the soul sapping sights of films like SCREAM (1981), SATAN’S BLADE (1984) or NAIL GUN MASSACRE (1985). Films so bad that the only slashing you want to see is your own wrists to end the tragedy. Skating just barely into the latter category is ICED (1988), the only 80s slasher set in the ultra-fascinating world of ski bums. Yay?
The film opens with a bunch of friends on New Year’s Eve egging on Cory (Doug Stevenson) to challenge Jeff (Dan Smith) to a skiing competition. After all, Jeff claims to have ridden the Alps and such hallowed claims must be taken with all seriousness in this shred or be shredded world. Also, both men have their eyes on Trina (Debra DeLiso), a ski bunny of the highest order. Cory wins (after Jeff tried to trip him up, of course) and Jeff consoles himself in the bar complaining to an unseen friend that the crew “question my integrity as a skier.” The horror! Maybe they should question your sanity because Jeff bursts into Jeff and Trina’s room in an alcohol-fueled rage when he hears grunts and groans. Turns out they were just playfully arm wrestling (really!). This sends Jeff over the edge literally as he suits up and skis the hills to his death.
Diane: “He has a three year old with a severe case of diarrhea.”
John: “It gets to me. It really does. Skiing is my medicine.”