Some films are so iconic that other filmmakers can’t help but ermm… pay “homage” to them. Some have made entire careers out of regurgitating other people’s work and spoon-feeding it to the masses whose eyes roll wildly in their heads while they foam at the mouth and scream about “Oscars” (Sally Strothers should have a late night commercial about these pitiable fools). Other filmmakers make references to the work of those that have come before with the subtle use of thematic elements, characters or shot composition. Use all three and you are back in the first category.
Then there are those who fall in the middle. They draw heavy inspiration from a film and add their own twist to it. Such is the case with the Austrian film BLOOD CRACKER. I mean, GLACIER. BLOOD GLACIER.
At a research station in the Austrian Alps, a small group of scientists studying the effects of global warming discover a glacier that is rapidly melting. The glacier is a rusty red color and trapped in the ice is a cell-structure of unknown origin. While investigating this glacier, the dog of the station’s lifer and obligatory rummy Janek (Gerhard Liebmann), discovers a dead fox in the glacier’s cave (I guess they melt faster on the inside). Something is moving under the fox’s skin and suddenly the dog has a wound. Assuming that his dog was attacked by a rabid fox, Janek returns to the station where the current biologist Birte (Hille Beseler) takes one look at the samples from the glacier and flips out claiming to have never seen cells like this before. Unfortunately the cells are rapidly deteriorating, so she needs another fresh sample – right now! This is, of course, impossible due to inclement weather and the alleged rabid fox. Cue strangely familiar argument about going back to the site under dangerous conditions.
Complicating things is the imminent arrival of the Prime Minister (Brigitte Kren) who is accompanied by Janek’s former lover Tanja (Edita Malovcic). Complicating things even further is the fact that Janek, who has been living in a bottle since Tanja left, is now drunk and on morphine for a head injury when he is suddenly almost attacked by a creature that looks like a cross between a fox and a spider. Of course nobody believes him until Berte finds a mutant bug while obtaining more samples. Once in possession of said samples (and after a gooey autopsy), Berte has it all figured out in a matter of minutes and uses a whiteboard to draw stick figures to explain it to the audience – err, I mean to the other scientists, who would have no clue what she was talking about if she used big words. You see the creature is a hybrid of a fox and an isopod that was created when the fox ate the isopod (as foxes are known to do) and the cells from the glacier took DNA from both species and created a hybrid that gestated in the fox. Well of course it is. Happens all the time. You know, just like (this is actually what she says) the mermaids of old and the Egyptian god Anubis.
|J.J. Abrams was here.|