True story: I spent most of the 1980s living in Germany thanks to my dad’s occupation. We living in Berlin for 5 years and Munich for 3 years; both times we lived, as they said, “in the economy,” which meant our house was off base and among the Germans. It was cool, but I’ll never forget when our German neighbors across the street told me about Saint Nikolaus. See, I grew up on tales of jolly old Santa Claus, whose biggest offense against bad kids was leaving them a lump of coal. St. Nikolaus was another deal. As told to me by the German kids, you left one shoe out by your bedroom door on December 6th and St. Nikolaus would fill it with goodies if you had been a good boy or girl. But if you had been bad, he wouldn’t leave you coal. He would burst into your room and throw you into a sack and kidnap you! Yeah, ‘twas a stressful night. At the time I didn’t know about the dark Pagan origins of our beloved Santa and never knew that St. Nick could be one brutal mofo. This tradition continues to this day in Europe and provides the basis for Dick Maas’ 2010 killer Saint Nick flick, SAINT.