Chester N. Turner’s TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE (1987) has long been considered one of the rarest shot-on-video flicks around. Turner had previously released the cult “classic” BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL (1984) and, thanks to feeling he wasn’t getting his fair share from distributors, he opted to self release his sophomore feature. This resulted in an almost legendary status among VHS collectors as the film proved rarer to find than a good review of a Donald Jackson movie. Original tapes would pop up on eBay and sell for literally hundreds of dollars. Well, as Mr. T would say, I pity the fool who paid top dollar for one of those cassettes as TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE is one of the worst of the worst. How bad is it? It makes 555 (1988) look like a work from Orson Welles. Thankfully, Massacre Video recently released Turner’s works on DVD for a much more affordable price. Did I say thankfully? I meant to say, “Holy Jesus! Goddamn! Holy Jesus jumping Christmas shit!” (if you get that quote, you’re awesome) and I’m not saying that in a good way.
|Ma just found out she is in |
a Chester N. Turner flick
in the basement while dressed in a clown suit. Oh, you sure showed him! Now doubt such an act will easily cover your years of psychological scarring. What Ted didn’t count on is his brother’s soul (not to be confused with a soul brother) returning into his body and killing him while he digs the grave. John Wayne Gacy would be proud. End of the second story. The third story isn’t actually from the Quadead Zone book as we just pick up with the mother as she freaks out after her husband Daryl comes home. Seems he doesn’t particularly like her habit thinking she is talking to their son who died three years ago (duh, duh, duhhhhhh!) and his only recourse is to beat her up. She fights back and stabs him. While she goes to comfort the invisible Bobby, the clinging-to-life Daryl calls 911. The cops arrive and arrest her. She asks if she can use the bathroom and goes in to slit her throat. 21 hours later, her ghost then returns to the house and is reunited with her son Bobby. The end of story three and we mercifully close the Quadead Zone book.
The sad part is this film’s rarity coupled with the newfound cult of VHS has resulted in a renewed interest in Turner’s film. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful that Massacre Video took the time to track down Turner and release his films as it preserves them for future generations. At the same time, I now feel bad for future generations. I can’t help but wonder if the time would be better spent on something a little more worthy of the attention. As for people who actually shelled out hundreds of dollars for a VHS of this film, let me leave this scene of Keefe Turner’s acting to sum up my feelings on that.