Believe it or not, I’m old enough to remember when people didn’t give a damn about Sam Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD (1981). Sure, it was a cult classic back in the early 80s, but you could search the globe back then and not find a single person with an EVIL DEAD tattoo. Two sequels (EVIL DEAD II and ARMY OF DARKNESS) and what seems like a hundred Anchor Bay DVD releases later, the EVIL DEAD series has virtually possessed horror fans through comics, toys, video games and more. Go to any horror convention and you’ll find EVIL DEAD slapped on everything from t-shirts to shot glasses to – I’m not kidding – baby apparel. And finding an EVIL DEAD tattoo nowadays is easier than locating a cursing redneck in a Rob Zombie film. Hell, the world even now has EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL! And a slick looking EVIL DEAD remake is coming out in 2013 that cost almost as much as the entire original films combined ($14 million for the remake versus $17 million for the trilogy). As the old Virginia Slims ad campaign said, “You’ve come a long way, baby.”
Rising concurrently with the popularity of the EVIL DEAD franchise has been the mainstream acceptance of the alternative look (mostly regarding women) in the pornography industry. Believe it or not, there used to be a time when finding a lady covered in tattoos in a nudie mag was as rare as an original idea from Eli Roth. Those ink-heavy ladies were secreted away in magazines like Outlaw Biker and the like (Tom knows, trust me). Thankfully, conventions have changed over the years and fans no longer have to accept the silicone-enhanced Barbie-esque pushed by the industry. Helping pave the way for this movement has been Burning Angel, an alternative-focused porn company founded by Joanna Angel in 2002. With the alternative and horror scene intrinsically mixed, it was only a matter of time before these two copulated. Burning Angel got their toes wet in the horror film parody scene with a pair of XXX shockers from director Doug Sakmann – RE-PENETRATOR in 2005 and THE XXXORCIST in 2006. Plans were made to tackle the now hugely popular EVIL DEAD series around that time and a funny teaser appeared in 2010. Then silence. Luckily, the spoof finally got made this year and unleashed on DVD just in time for Halloween.


Shelly: “I’ll swallow your soul.”
Scotty: “Really? Well, if you put it like that
maybe I can make an exception.”
Sex scene #3 then gets underway as Scotty and Shelly go at it on the fireplace…and on the rocking chair…and on the living room floor (man, that sounds like a game of Clue). Again, another first as I’ve never seen a soulless demon get pounded hard like this (Ann Coulter in a debate on facts with Bill Maher comes close though).
HOLY BAT SYMBOL!
After their spirited session, Shelly wants more (“Fuck us!”) but Scotty is spent. He pays with his life as she takes a bite out of his neck and then leaves him a bloody mess on the floor.
After taking a pounding at literally his own hand (naturally it grabs his balls), Ash is forced to part ways with his appendage via some chainsaw surgery. He then grabs Shelly and sits her on the chainsaw before revving the thing up. Chalk that one up to another thing I’ve never seen before (and I’m shocked a German gore movie hasn’t done it yet).
Ash comforts the now human Linda and she is a bit pissed because during the melee she found an identical locket under the couch featuring him getting it on with another girl. He delivers the “pillow talk” line from ARMY OF DARKNESS before using the classic “give me some sugar baby” quip in order to segue into the film’s next sex scene

It is no secret that the porn parody business is booming. However, the more of them I watch, the more I realize how the effectiveness of subgenre is kind of like a Peter North cumshot – it is all over the place (yeah, you laughed). The bad ones end up being nothing more than glorified cosplay with iconic characters fucking, while the

Echoing Sakmann’s enthusiasm is a capable cast. Without a doubt the star of the show is Tommy Pistol. As the battered and bruised hero, he does an incredible job at bringing to life Bruce Campbell with a boner. He obviously studied the role and has some of Campbell’s cadence and facial expressions down perfectly. The sequence where he is attacked by his own hand rivals the physicality displayed by his inspiration in EVIL DEAD II. Special mention should also go to co-star Kleio. She also appears to have also studied the source material as she has the twitchy mannerisms of a demonic Deadite down. Not to mention she also got molested by some trees and, according to the BTS doc, did her sex scenes almost completely blind thanks to her contact lenses. Helen Keller would be proud (admit it, you laughed again).
Of course, there are a few things that will disappoint folks. Personally, I was initially excited to hear of the casting of Dana DeArmond, one of porn’s funniest actresses, in the flick and kept assuming she was going to show up as the Professor’s daughter. Sadly, she just shows up as a horny zombie in the film’s final sex scene. Yeah, you read that right – I’m the dude hoping a porn actress gets more dialogue in a film. It is definitely a missed opportunity in my opinion. Also, I felt the production passed on some other great opportunities. I’m talking severed hand fingering action (did I just write that?). The aforementioned teaser that Burning Angel released in 2010 had a great bit where Linda’s severed head chomps on Ash’s crotch. In a film filled with never-before-seen sexual situations, I’m a bit surprised they didn’t recreate this in the actual production. After all, the world demands a severed head blowjob scene. Did I say world? I meant that previously mentioned Japanese businessman pervert over in Tokyo.
Alas, those are minor quibbles on my end because I think the film did enough clever stuff to satisfy even the most die hard Deadite. So instead of shelling out $20 for that limited collector’s edition EVIL DEAD lunchbox, send your money to Burning Angel as they did this one right. Not only did they properly deliver a porn parody, but they did it with an infectious enthusiasm that could only come from real fans. Now, where the hell did I put my tattoo gun?
Best game of Twister EVER!
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