Believe it or not, I’m old enough to remember when people didn’t give a damn about Sam Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD (1981). Sure, it was a cult classic back in the early 80s, but you could search the globe back then and not find a single person with an EVIL DEAD tattoo. Two sequels (EVIL DEAD II and ARMY OF DARKNESS) and what seems like a hundred Anchor Bay DVD releases later, the EVIL DEAD series has virtually possessed horror fans through comics, toys, video games and more. Go to any horror convention and you’ll find EVIL DEAD slapped on everything from t-shirts to shot glasses to – I’m not kidding – baby apparel. And finding an EVIL DEAD tattoo nowadays is easier than locating a cursing redneck in a Rob Zombie film. Hell, the world even now has EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL! And a slick looking EVIL DEAD remake is coming out in 2013 that cost almost as much as the entire original films combined ($14 million for the remake versus $17 million for the trilogy). As the old Virginia Slims ad campaign said, “You’ve come a long way, baby.”
Rising concurrently with the popularity of the EVIL DEAD franchise has been the mainstream acceptance of the alternative look (mostly regarding women) in the pornography industry. Believe it or not, there used to be a time when finding a lady covered in tattoos in a nudie mag was as rare as an original idea from Eli Roth. Those ink-heavy ladies were secreted away in magazines like Outlaw Biker and the like (Tom knows, trust me). Thankfully, conventions have changed over the years and fans no longer have to accept the silicone-enhanced Barbie-esque pushed by the industry. Helping pave the way for this movement has been Burning Angel, an alternative-focused porn company founded by Joanna Angel in 2002. With the alternative and horror scene intrinsically mixed, it was only a matter of time before these two copulated. Burning Angel got their toes wet in the horror film parody scene with a pair of XXX shockers from director Doug Sakmann – RE-PENETRATOR in 2005 and THE XXXORCIST in 2006. Plans were made to tackle the now hugely popular EVIL DEAD series around that time and a funny teaser appeared in 2010. Then silence. Luckily, the spoof finally got made this year and unleashed on DVD just in time for Halloween.
The film opens with a quartet of vacationers – Ash (Tommy Pistol), Linda (Joanna Angel), Scotty (Danny Wylde) and Shelly (Kleio) – arriving at that familiar isolated cabin in the woods (or soundstage in this case). “I heard about it from my friend Sam,” says Ash referentially of the cabin. As the group settles in, Ash bestows Linda with a locket that has pictures of them screwing inside. “You sure know the way to woman’s heart,” she coos. “Yeah, through her vagina,” he hoots in his best Bruce Campbell impersonation. Okay, this is going to be fun. No sooner are they settled do they find an old tape recorder and the Necronomicon. They play the tape and hear the voice of the Professor (sad personal moment – I recognized it as Troma head Lloyd Kaufman’s voice before the end credits revealed it; yup, I’m good at porn minutia) who recites the “klaatu barada nikto” incantation that brings the unseen demonic evil alive. Of course, we can’t have things jump off just yet as Ash, Linda and Scotty have a threesome where Linda proves to be more than open in their relationship. Post-coitus, Shelly discovers them and this causes here to run out of the cabin and into the foggy woods. Here we a XXX recreation of the infamous tree rape scene from the original EVIL DEAD. This is actually a bit disturbing as Shelly is possessed by literally being gangbanged by some tree branches in every place you can imagine. It is something I’ve never seen before and I’m sure some Japanese businessman is giddy at the thought.
Sex scene #3 then gets underway as Scotty and Shelly go at it on the fireplace…and on the rocking chair…and on the living room floor (man, that sounds like a game of Clue). Again, another first as I’ve never seen a soulless demon get pounded hard like this (Ann Coulter in a debate on facts with Bill Maher comes close though).
After their spirited session, Shelly wants more (“Fuck us!”) but Scotty is spent. He pays with his life as she takes a bite out of his neck and then leaves him a bloody mess on the floor.
After taking a pounding at literally his own hand (naturally it grabs his balls), Ash is forced to part ways with his appendage via some chainsaw surgery. He then grabs Shelly and sits her on the chainsaw before revving the thing up. Chalk that one up to another thing I’ve never seen before (and I’m shocked a German gore movie hasn’t done it yet).
as Ash and Linda use the couch to get it on. So for all you EVIL DEAD fans hoping to see a handless Ash slap a girl’s ass, your dreams have come true. Following their 20 minute plus session, Linda reverts to her demon form and Ash has only one option and decapitates her with the chainsaw. He takes her out into the woods to bury her, but has to endure some threats from Linda’s severed head while digging. His response is to ejaculate on her severed head (again, a porn first I believe and done for laughs, not shocks). Making it back to the cabin, Ash goes delirious as everything in the room starts to laugh at him (I love that they got one of those singing deer heads). He then looks outside and sees that not only Linda, but some of his other crazy ex-girlfriends (Dana DeArmond and Veruca James) have risen from their graves. In a scene sure to excite Jorg Buttgereit, Ash heads out to the makeshift graveyard and gets it on with all three living dead girls. When they finish, he says, “Now is that some evil head or what?” before giving them the ol’ chainsaw breakup. The end.
good ones actually make the effort to infuse their work with clever nods toward the source material. Thankfully, EVIL HEAD falls closer to the latter. It is obvious that Sakmann is a horror fan and has an affinity for the original series. Hell, in the behind-the-scenes featurette he shows off the Necronomicon tattooed on his arm (see, I told you it was easy to find those EVIL DEAD tattoos). He co-wrote the script with Joanna Angela (who also confesses her love of the series in the BTS) and it is infused with so many acknowledgements and tributes to the original films. Mostly the film is parodying EVIL DEAD 1 & 2, but they make sure to work in some of the iconic lines from ARMY OF DARKNESS. Sakmann even managed to build a set that properly recreates the original location (in a high school theater production kind of way) and spent money on some effective demon FX. As a director he even tries to visually recreate some of Raimi’s more iconic shots. Don’t get too excited as we’re still working on video here, but it is the thought that counts.