HARD TICKET introduces series regulars Dona (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton). Somehow we are supposed to believe these former Playboy Playmates (March 1984 for Speir and July 1985 for Carlton) are D.E.A. agents working undercover as pilots in Molokai. Well, Taryn is a witness against the mob turned agent (because that is how the government work, right?). They soon find themselves up to their breasts in trouble thanks to some evil pot dealers. See, they used to be peaceful local types, but evil Seth (Rodrigo Obregón) has taken over the organization and he takes no prisoners. Oh wait, he actually does take a prisoner in Edy (Cynthia Brimhall, Playboy Playmate October 1985). So the girls team up with buff warriors Jade (Harold Diamond) and Rowdy Abilene (Ronn Moss), cousin of MALIBU’s Cody Abilene. Oh, and did I forget to mention there is a huge, cancer-ridden snake loose on the island?
HARD TICKET TO HAWAII in 10 minutes:
How every film should open:
Smokin' some of that weed before you went clothes shopping?
Dona (Dona Speir) & Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton), D.E.A. agents of your dreams:
"Let's unload and hit the jacuzzi. I do my best thinking there." (actual line)
Tae Kwon D'oh!
"So I saw this movie called .357 Magnum..."
"Man, he must be smoking some heavy doobies." (actual line)
A plastic woman in a Sidaris flick, no way!
"Baby look pretty now, mommy?"
I've totally been to www.chix-n-chaku.com:
You can tell he is evil by his phone:
OMG! Look at that beautiful wood paneling!
Your frisbee playin' days are over, son:
Is this guy Seth Voorhees?
Seth meets snake: