DEATHSTALKER IV opens with the most ominous of signs – narration and footage from the earlier films. When we finally get new footage, Deathstalker (Rick Hill, reprising the role from part one) is saving a young girl from some lionmen. See those bad ass lionmen on the VHS cover over there? Well, let’s just say they don’t look like that in the film. Take a look:
Anyway, he saves the girl and then offers to take her to her village. In a real gutbuster, after riding through the woods the girl says “there is my village” and it is literally three guys in a tent hanging out by a stream. Of course, these guys will bestow some knowledge on our boy DS. Seems Cohen actually watched part three and tries to weave some continuity between films as Deathstalker is on a quest to find his friend Aldilar from the village after they got separated during that big battle (scenes from part three’s opening attack are shown). Why does he want to find him? Well, because they accidentally switched swords during the mêlée. Really! He learns his buddy was last seen at the castle of local ice queen Kana (Michelle Moffett) and decides to make his way there.
Deathstalker heads in that direction (they always seem to know which way to go) and meets Vaniat (Brett Baxter Clark), a muscle-bound fighter who is heading to the castle for – wait for it – a tournament! Ah, yes, the return of the tournament. They travel together while the Stalker of Death mocks Vaniat’s healthy lifestyle (sex “saps the vital juices”). Along the way, the duo witnesses Dionara (Maria Ford) and her sister being attacked and save them. Well, Deathstalker tries and it results in the sister being dead and him and Dionara being trapped inside a cave. In another hilarious bit, they don’t even show how they escape from this cave after a pig-man yells, “Ha, you’ll never get out!” Dionara explains that she was accompanying her sister to the castle for – you guessed it – the tournament! And now she will take her sister’s place to honor her (or something). For some odd reason this requires her to strip down and put on her sister’s skimpy outfit (does this tournament have a dress code?).
So everyone eventually makes it to this castle (the production actually uses a real castle) to enter this medieval BLOODSPORT. But something seems off to Deathstalker and Dionara. Guards are always patrolling the halls and Kana insists on everyone drinking lots and lots of her super wine. To make matters worse, Kana has her men interrupt Deathstalker while he is putting the muscle-bound moves on Dionara so she can have some alone time with him. Doesn’t Deathstalker know the “no sex” rule before a fight? Oh wait, I guess he does as he refuses Kana’s advances and she storms out in a huff, shouting at her main guard, “I need a man. The bigger, the better. And drunk!” The next day the tournament begins and, since Deathstalker wasn’t putting out, Kana pits him against his friend Vaniat. But he shows her by winning while sparing his friend’s life.
But guess what? That cool bit ain’t in the movie. Basically, you have guys covered in grey make-up stumbling around. I should say partially covered as most everyone seemed to have missed the armpits section.